I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
