Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The power of my boobs compel you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
