He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
