yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
