I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
