Porn is love you can see.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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