Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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