do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
