whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
