is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
