margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
