can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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