you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
