like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
