That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
