You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
