its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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