The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
