did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
