did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
