hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
