I want you more than these girls want KFC
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
