lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize