Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
