just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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