At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
