it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
