I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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