There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
