yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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