Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
