Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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