I'm eating all of the evidence.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
