I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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