I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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