We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
