Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
