OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
