I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
