Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
only if we run a train.
done.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
