i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
