just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
