just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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