Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's blow job season.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
