im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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