You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize