no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
