i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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