can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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