hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
