no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
