If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
