the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
