I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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