Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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