were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
