He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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