Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
