I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
