Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
