you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize