I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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