If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
