Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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