im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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